I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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