the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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