When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
