awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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