The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
