Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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