You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
