I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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