ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
