Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
