Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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