Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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