I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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