Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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