apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
