i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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