Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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