So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
love makes seman taste better
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
