I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
