I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
