whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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