dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
