it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
