lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
