At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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