So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
