We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
