its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
