I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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