I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
