All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
