We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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