i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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