I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
