yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
MIDGETS
????
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
