HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
