Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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