Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
