I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
