I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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