the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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