Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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