I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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