I am spending my child support on dildos
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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