i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
