Got a toothbrush?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
