farters have to be the big spoon...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
