I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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