so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
