and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
